A few years ago, a lovely feminist friend of mine introduced me to Succulent Wild Woman- a playful, doodle-filled, and entirely hand-written book by Sark (check out her website here). Written in a style that is part journal, part memoir, Sark teaches readers to embrace the richness and fullness that comes along with being a female. In one of her stories, she writes about a common fear instilled in womyn- being “too much”. Sark iterates that much of her life has consisted of being told she is “too loud, too outrageous, too emotional, too sensitive, too needy, too much.” This week, I have begun studying the relationship between between feminism and performance, and have read articles where “too much-ness” as a topic has re-emerged.
In “Never Just Pictures”, Susan Bordo examines female reactions to waif-thin models such as Kate Moss. When her female student reacts to a photo of Moss as seeming “so cool”, and “not so needy, like me,” Bordo develops a possible explanation for the public’s fascination with photographed skeletal figures. She explains, “If the thin body represents a triumph over need and want, a stripping down to some clear, distinct, essence of self, fat represents just the opposite- the shame of being too present, too hungry, to overbearing, too needy, overflowing with unsightly desire, or simply ‘too much.’”
In my life, it has been all too easy to witness the fear of being “too much.” There was my high school friend who decided to cut her beloved pasta from her diet because she wanted to attract a crush, and then there were the womyn in my college course who quietly commented to me that they felt “so bad for the guys in the class for having to talk so much about menstruation.” Conversely, I can think of the womyn in my life who aren’t afraid to dance in a grocery store aisle, who proudly challenge ignorant remarks made by peers, or who hold honest and enthusiastic conversations about their their orgasms. Loudly. In public.
While Bordo tactfully explains this fear and how it is represented, Sark offers a solution- let’s all embrace being too much! She writes, “We’ll start a society! The Too Much Society! We’ll have too much parades! Certainly, we’ll wear hats that are too much, and eat too much chocolate...and then we’ll take too many naps!”
As for myself- I laugh too loud, I joke around too frequently, I sing too freely, I wear a necklace that says “Cunt”, and I apply glitter to my hair very, very liberally. I’m happy to be too much.
How are you “too much”?
