A few years ago, a lovely feminist friend of mine introduced me to Succulent Wild Woman- a playful, doodle-filled, and entirely hand-written book by Sark (check out her website here). Written in a style that is part journal, part memoir, Sark teaches readers to embrace the richness and fullness that comes along with being a female. In one of her stories, she writes about a common fear instilled in womyn- being “too much”. Sark iterates that much of her life has consisted of being told she is “too loud, too outrageous, too emotional, too sensitive, too needy, too much.” This week, I have begun studying the relationship between between feminism and performance, and have read articles where “too much-ness” as a topic has re-emerged.
In “Never Just Pictures”, Susan Bordo examines female reactions to waif-thin models such as Kate Moss. When her female student reacts to a photo of Moss as seeming “so cool”, and “not so needy, like me,” Bordo develops a possible explanation for the public’s fascination with photographed skeletal figures. She explains, “If the thin body represents a triumph over need and want, a stripping down to some clear, distinct, essence of self, fat represents just the opposite- the shame of being too present, too hungry, to overbearing, too needy, overflowing with unsightly desire, or simply ‘too much.’”
In my life, it has been all too easy to witness the fear of being “too much.” There was my high school friend who decided to cut her beloved pasta from her diet because she wanted to attract a crush, and then there were the womyn in my college course who quietly commented to me that they felt “so bad for the guys in the class for having to talk so much about menstruation.” Conversely, I can think of the womyn in my life who aren’t afraid to dance in a grocery store aisle, who proudly challenge ignorant remarks made by peers, or who hold honest and enthusiastic conversations about their their orgasms. Loudly. In public.
While Bordo tactfully explains this fear and how it is represented, Sark offers a solution- let’s all embrace being too much! She writes, “We’ll start a society! The Too Much Society! We’ll have too much parades! Certainly, we’ll wear hats that are too much, and eat too much chocolate...and then we’ll take too many naps!”
As for myself- I laugh too loud, I joke around too frequently, I sing too freely, I wear a necklace that says “Cunt”, and I apply glitter to my hair very, very liberally. I’m happy to be too much.
How are you “too much”?
Hi Carly,
ReplyDeleteAs I read your blog, I thought to myself that I can completely relate to everything your saying. society teaches us that as womyn, we are not supposed to talk about sex in public or hell at all for that matter. We are overwhelmed with societal standards that are unachieveable. I myself am faced with the challenge of toning down my "BLACKNESS" while still being Black, but not to the extent of being "white- washed"; if that makes any sense at all. I have been told that I am too loud, my hair is too kinky, and my skin is too dark. I am judged on a daily basis on a multitude of things that are simply out of my control. I have learned to embrace my naturally kinky curly hair and when people say I am too loud I have learned to speak even louder. The song Video by India. Arie has really helped me to embrace who I am.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=Mq86e4Fhja0&ob=av2e
Jasmine Morrow
I can definitely agree with the overall feelings in this blog, I catch myself always asking people if I'm too much all the time. I have grown way too comfortably to expressing myself in all sort of ways, especially thorugh dance, I dance all the time anywhere i can, I am too loud, too angry according to some, but mosltly I believe that i'm truthful, too truthful and blunt too. I continue to push the boundaries that society uses to contraint my being and my exxistance. I like being too much, taking up space, and standing my ground, as women i believe that we need to stop apologizing for existing and expressing oourselves. one thing i believe though is that we have been taught to be sorry too much and to feel guilty too much and to have too many negative thoughts about ourselves. we need to start switching those negative thoughts to nurturing, reaffirming thought of womyhood, of being and of expression, being too is the start of a revolution.
ReplyDelete-alejandra ramos